My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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