i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
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the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
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