Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
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That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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