i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
