So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize