His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
