i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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