Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
