so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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