'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
