Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize