Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
