just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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