Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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