We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
