Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
