i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
