Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.