Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once