this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
