I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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