Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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