I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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