i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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