Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize