I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it's like iHOP with fire
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize