I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
