i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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