Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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