We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
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I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We smell like vodka and hangover
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