$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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