Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
