How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
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I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.