I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
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Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
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I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.