Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

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(859): I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me. http://tfl.nu/euxr

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(714): View more from California

Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.

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(714): Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009. http://tfl.nu/yw3z

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(217): View more from Illinois

Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning

(1-217): View more from Illinois

didn't feel it. :)

(217): View more from Illinois

It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.

(1-217): View more from Illinois

wait what? so it's not in america?

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(217): Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning (1-217): didn't feel it. :) (217): It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't. (1-217): wait what? so it's not in america? http://tfl.nu/0q24

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(407): View more from Florida

Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.

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(407): Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008. http://tfl.nu/vkb0

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(760): View more from California

Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...

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(760): Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom... http://tfl.nu/f7p5

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(303): View more from Colorado

It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.

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(303): It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet. http://tfl.nu/tf1g

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(203): View more from Connecticut

she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.

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(203): she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever. http://tfl.nu/jt2o

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(336): View more from North Carolina

They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.

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(336): They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays. http://tfl.nu/wrv2

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(519): View more from Ontario

He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?

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(519): He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him? http://tfl.nu/ad81

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.

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(704): The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night. http://tfl.nu/10ma

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(906): View more from Michigan

I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner

(503): View more from Oregon

Soooo, coming over soon?

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(906): I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner (503): Soooo, coming over soon? http://tfl.nu/cs7r

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(201): View more from New Jersey

yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial

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(201): yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial http://tfl.nu/29ux

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(302): View more from Delaware

Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.

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(302): Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike. http://tfl.nu/7q3x

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(708): View more from Illinois

we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.

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(708): we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now. http://tfl.nu/89m6

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm drunk at 3:28

(816): View more from Missouri

I'm jealous as shit at 3:34

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(913): I'm drunk at 3:28 (816): I'm jealous as shit at 3:34 http://tfl.nu/umrv

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