Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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