WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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