i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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