wat bout pragnant strippers??
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
