New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
