I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
