whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
