Christians are straight up FREAKS
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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