nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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