I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
