Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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