Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it was like eating out sand paper
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
