Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
