Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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