We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
