I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
