found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
