So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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