How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
