i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
