A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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